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The Definitive Guide to the 2015 NFL Super Bowl Champion

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Two days from now, football will be back. If ever there was a time for this emoji:

Emoji Hands

…this would be it.

Shout out to every other sport and Hard Knocks for getting us through the summer. Truly appreciated.

Now that all the fantasy teams have been drafted, suicide pool picks have been picked (I got Philadelphia and San Francisco with my two entries this week), it’s time to figure out who can win the Super Bowl in Arizona.

As fun as it is to pick a team to win, it’s really impossible. The best way to figure it out is to split the teams into “Those who can win it” and “Those who cannot,” so here goes:

Teams that definitely are NOT winning the Super Bowl –

Dolphins Jets Football

All teams who will start rookie QB’s at some point this season. See you later Minnesota, Oakland, Jacksonville, Cleveland, and Tennessee.

Teams with smedium QB’s that are non-rookies. Let’s get Houston, St. Louis, Tampa Bay, Miami, Arizona, and Kansas City out the paint.

Teams that have a track record of never being shit. That means Detroit (sigh), the Jets, Buffalo, Dallas, and Cincinnati are out of the running.

The teams that overachieved last season. Say good night to Carolina and Kansas City (again).

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And finally, teams with gaping holes on one side of the ball. So Washington, Chicago, Atlanta…your defenses suck, you’re all out.

That leaves 12 teams in the mix, which basically represents my playoff bracket. Let’s whittle it down to a Super Bowl pick.

Teams that definitely CAN win the Super Bowl –

joe-flacco

Seattle is a logical choice to repeat this season. They won last year, playing out the season as one of the two or three best teams all along. They didn’t lose anyone critical going into this season, AND they managed to avoid a crippling suspension that bit many other teams.

The only real reason I’m picking against them is history. It’s hard to repeat. And for the last few years, the reigning Super Bowl champion hasn’t come close to repeating.

Denver has Peyton Manning. I hate Peyton Manning. They’re out.

The Giants and Eagles only make this list because someone has to win the horrible NFC East, and I like Philadelphia’s offense. Neither will win a game in January.

Similar story with Baltimore. They get here because Joe Flacco has won a Super Bowl, not because I think he will. He was perfect in the playoffs the year he won it. Don’t see that happening again. At least he got paid though. Count your money, Joey!

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I believe in the power of Andrew Luck, but I don’t think Indianapolis has a complete enough team to realistically compete for a championship. The stench coming off of Trent Richardson and most of the defense is enough to overpower Luck’s knack for making the right play.

Green Bay, who bit me last year, have my favorite quarterback and what looks like an amazing offense. I just don’t trust the defense or their ability to stay healthy.

Sleeper picks –

philip-rivers-chargers_display_image_display_image

These are the teams that I can’t really justify for the Super Bowl, but want to say “I told you so” if they make a Flacco-esque run in the playoffs.

San Diego and Pittsburgh fit the bill here. The Steelers always seem to have a good team. And this year, they have a lot of names that I like. I could see it coming together for them in the playoffs. And they can’t be as bad as they were last year, right?

The Chargers are a team I’m irrationally high on. I drafted Phil Rivers in just about every fantasy league I’m in. Their offense will be good, and if their defensive pick ups play well, they can shock the world…except for me. Because I told you so.

True contenders –

Three teams left. I’ll pencil New England into the Super Bowl by elimination. They are loaded on both sides of the ball. Though their defense is more a collection of good players than a cohesive unit, I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt.

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Deciding between San Francisco and New Orleans is tough, but I’ll give the nod to the Saints. The 49ers are dealing with those suspensions that Seattle has avoided, and they lost some pieces on defense, the strength of the team. This could be the year the Niners show their true colors. Are they Super Bowl champs or the new Buffalo Bills? There is already speculation about the coach leaving, and it’s hard to keep an elite roster together.

The pick –

Tom Brady

I’m going with the Patriots to win it all this year. We can put Brady ahead of Manning for good on the “All Time” list, and stop mentioning Spygate forever.

Works for me.

I’ve typed enough. Simple question: who you got this year?

Hit the comments and let me know!

Comment(8)

  1. Much as I hate to say it, the Pats winning wouldn’t surprise me. Their D isn’t as good as it has been. But assuming Gronk stays healthy and Ridley doesn’t fumble his spot away, they have a good shot. Denver had all the right pieces in February too.

    Funny you mention drafting Philip Rivers in FF, he’s a sleeper pick at the starting QB spot.

  2. Stop Sippng on the Belichek-Brady Kool-Aid. Their Run ended after Eli and the G-Men on New York beat them the 2nd time. the Pats MIGHT have a Chance,but I Doubt it. Same with San Fran- they are the Jets West (when they had Sanchez and went to 2 straight AFC Title games)
    It’s between Seattle. Denver, New Orleans and Indy. Count on it

    1. I can’t sign off on a repeat for Seattle. They had a much easier schedule last year than they will have this season. They played a 10-6 schedule last year, this year it’s a 13-3 Super Bowl champion schedule. The second Harvin gets injured (which will happen) and QBs refuse to throw to Sherman’s side of the field (which will happen) that’s when the title defense will get real.

  3. This is why me and Joe ain’t real friends:

    Deciding between San Francisco and New Orleans is
    tough, but I’ll give the nod to the Saints. — HATE.

    “The 49ers are dealing with
    those suspensions that Seattle has avoided, and they lost some pieces on
    defense, the strength of the team.”

    They will have everyone back by Week 11. There’s only ONE suspension and ONE injury that really affects this team. The media is causing you to overthink it. Outside of Aldon and Bowman when was the last time you said, “You know that McDonald kid is the key to that defense?” Despite the fact that there’s a chance that he doesn’t get suspended because women lie.

    “This could be the year the Niners
    show their true colors. Are they Super Bowl champs or the new Buffalo Bills?”

    They still may be the new new Bills. However, the Niners will enter the playoffs with the most momentum of any team in the playoff hunt. They don’t form like Voltron until Week 11. Provided they haven’t completely fell apart (something that won’t happen) they are poised for a deep playoff run.

    “There is already speculation about the coach leaving, and it’s hard to keep an elite roster together.”

    That whole Jim leaving thing was overblown. He’ll be there for a while. Also, there’s nothing elite about a roster that continues to turn itself over and still go deep in the playoffs. We keep Kaep, Crabtree and Davis on offense. We keep Willis, Bowman and Smith on defense. Everyone else is pretty interchangeable and we draft really well.

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