Home Dating & Relationships Dating “Clean” Living: Why Losing Isn’t Always Winning

“Clean” Living: Why Losing Isn’t Always Winning


Being in shape or “fit” is what’s hot right now. Well in truth, it’s always been hot. The exposure of the fit lifestyle however is at an all time high. In this viral world in which we live we can’t escape the visuals of it. At a time it was your magazines and commercials. Then the advent of the internet pushed it to another level. But now with the advancement of fitness apps and instagrams, fitness is a whole new beast. The narrative is the same for many women. They either want to gain or lose weight in a healthy way. Or they might want a bigger butt that won’t require anesthesia. I’ll tell you one thing, I’m all for fitness. You ladies should be all for it too…for the right reasons.

There are a few  reasons that you shouldn’t get in shape primarily for :

Societal Standard – The media has us all caught up. Either consciously or subconsciously, it’s pretty irrelevant. We have to remind ourselves who we need to be happy with at the end of the day. Live by your standards and how you feel comfortable. If you’re more comfortable as a size 8 rather than a size 4 then be a healthy size 8. Be who you want to be.

Instagram Likes – You laughed, yes you did. But you’d be surprised by how many people put heavy stock in how many likes they get and who likes their photos. Shoot, I have a few faves I get giddy for when they like my photo. You all do too, don’t front. But When it comes to making lifestyle changes that shouldn’t be a factor. A philosophy you should have when wanting to be fit should be long term. Don’t just get in shape to fit in that dress. Don’t just get in shape for your vacation. Get in shape to hopefully improve your longevity here. If that’s already your mindset then don’t tarnish that for the sake of likes.

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Male Attention – I get it. You think the majority of men in this world want a well proportioned woman. You think most of us would love curves on a thick woman, or we’d love a nicely proportioned  slender woman. Well maybe you’re right. If that’s what many men like, we shouldn’t be shamed for it. The caveat here is that if you want to lose weight solely for male attention you’ll be in trouble. If you lose weight and still don’t get the attention you seek then why did you lose it? In fact, the inverse can end up happening. You can rebel, or be depressed and gain even more weight back. This is all because you did something for the wrong reasoning.

It pays to live life with the blinders on sometimes. When dealing with matters that effect you primarily, you owe that to yourself. No one can stipulate what you should do for yourself unless they’re a doctor. The adulation one might want from becoming in shape should be organic. The attention received should be genuine. So it may not come from who you wanted to it come from. But the attention that you will get will be the right attention. It’ll be the right attention because you did things for the right reasons.

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Join this fad of clean eating and exercise. It’s positive, it’s good for everyone. But nowhere in any health class does it say being fit will get you the man of your dreams. You’ve still got to be a dope lady to snag the right guy. Oh yeah we’d love to fawn over our woman. We want to desire her. But those feelings are only partly physical. There’s another caveat for you as well. What do you think of the clean eating gym rat movement? Why do you choose to be fit?

These are my words and I make no apologies.

DamnPops is a writer on the staff at SBM: “I’m not a biter, I’m a writer for myself and others. ” Brooklyn born dude trying to figure out this life just like you. Come on this journey with me. Follow me on Twitter @DamnPOPS 


  1. Thank you for this article Kahlil. I agree people should not lose or alter their weight or physique just for their IG crush. However, it’s hard to deny anytime I lose weight, my ‘likes’ seem to double on average. This clearly says to me “your more attractive when you drop 75lbs”. I lost weight because I became disgusted with my appearance in photos but I’m not going to lie and say the new attention from guys I crushed on in college, isn’t motivating me. I believe people should stop acting like the opinion of others doesn’t bother them. It’s nice to say in theory but if that was the case you wouldn’t feel the need to “share” and post about you social life at all. If you want to lose weight for a dress, then get your Claire Huxtable on. I’m not mad at you! It’s not our fault the cutest clothes are made for the new Jennifer Hudson and not The old one.

    keep up the great topics and discussions. Wish you all the best

    1. I think we’re talking about slightly different things, if you wanna fit into something and it’s to make yourself feel good I could never have an issue with that. The correlation between likes and weight loss is obvious. It doesn’t negate the fact that if there’s results you’re looking for from people and you don’t get them and that bothers you then you’ve lost that weight for the wrong reason. Again it’s only my opinion but if someone were to lose weight solely because they wanted to for their own health and vanity they’d get genuine attention from the right people. I know wanting people to like you is a human thing, but there’s a line you’ve got to draw as to where you ask how much will you allow others opinions of you to sway you. You’ve got to have that balance to achieve a comfort we’re all seeking

  2. I laughed so hard when I read the instagram part because there is this new craze with waist trainers. Women are buying and using these waist trainers to get an hour glass figure. The result is a funny shaped waist with and untoned body! Why? Because everyone is looking for those immediate results that require no work and no sweat….and especially no clean diet. This is a fad for those who are trying to be instagram vixens. But for some of us who want to lead healthier lives, this is more than just losing some inches for bikini season. It’s for longevity of life, stamina, endurance and especially disease prevention!


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