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The Only Four Things We KNOW About the NFL Season So Far

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NFL: Preseason-Seattle Seahawks at Green Bay Packers

We are a quarter of the way into the NFL season, and I couldn’t be more confused. I lost one of my survivor pool picks Sunday when the horrible Tampa Bay Buccaneers beat the Pittsburgh Steelers…in Pittsburgh.

A team with no offense to speak of beat a team I thought was good on the road. Add this to Wiz Khalifa and Amber Rose splitting up, and I can’t trust anything anymore.

So what do we know? Hard to say exactly, but let’s find out…

We know Seattle is the favorite to win the title again –

Russell-Wilson

I wouldn’t have guessed this before the season started. In fact, I didn’t guess it then. But I’m pretty sure of it now.

In hindsight, my only reason for picking against Seattle was history (and Russell Wilson’s barber). In their three games to open the season, they have shown offensive creativity and the same defensive toughness that earned them a ring last season. The defense has even adapted to the new defensive holding rules that many thought would undermine them.

The only reason to question Seattle is their loss to San Diego in Week 2. Which leads to the second thing we know…

Phillip Rivers can beat anybody –

Time to add him to that short list of quarterbacks you’d take if you had one game for your life. He’s been my “fantasy quarterback that everyone forgets about, but is an automatic start” list for two seasons now.

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After beating Seattle and playing Arizona (who might be good) to a standstill, you have to take San Diego seriously going forward. We’ll check back in Week 8 when he faces the Broncos in Denver.

The AFC East is trash + the Patriots are officially over –

Tom Brady's Career
Tom Brady’s Career

As I sit here watching the Patriots get picked apart on Monday Night Football, I can definitively say the AFC East is now the Meg Griffin of the NFL.

Patriots? Over.

Bills? Starting Kyle Orton.

Dolphins? Could win the division…which means the division a’int shit.

Jets? The Jets.

This was supposed to be the Patriots’ division to lose. Instead, they are tied at the top with two teams that define average. Clearly this isn’t the other teams improving, so much as the Patriots moonwalking into mediocrity. Pour out a lil’ liquor.

Survivor Pools are impossible –

The fact that there are only three things you can say without hesitation proves that survivor pools are evil.

If you don’t know what I’m referring to, a survivor pool is a cruel trick where a bunch of people pay $20 and pick one team to win each week. The trick is you can’t pick the same team twice.

In any sane world, this would be easy. There are good teams and bad ones, and picking would be as easy as choosing a brown sugar and cinnamon Pop Tart (easily the best, there is no debate). Instead, you look at the schedule each week and can convincingly talk yourself into any team beating another one. Then you make a pick, hate that pick immediately, and frustration ensues. It’s really fun!

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This happens because the NFL, like no other league, is designed for every team to win as much as they lose. That’s probably what keeps us watching despite mounting evidence that it might be immoral to do so. I’m as guilty as anyone.

For now, we’ll keep that party going and check back in on the league in a few weeks.

That’s what I KNOW so far. What about you? Are you sold on the Bengals as a real title contender? Arizona? Are the Cowboys headed for (yet another) heartbreak at the end of this season?

Hit the comments and let me know!

Comment(5)

  1. This must be a hard time for you. The Cowboys are actually
    looking more like a football team. Even your Lions, (we know you love them) are playing great.

    I can sense the apprehension in your writing,…dancin’ around what you REALLY wanna write about.

    I’ll help you out.

    Once the offense got off the “Romo-centric” train, they
    actually are efficient…and winning. Too bad it took Romo to have a back injury to force this on.

    I’ve always been a “D-Town Stafford” (D for Dallas BTW)) supporter. But he seems to be (for reasons you’ll know better that I)…getting it. Make Suh happy and keep it up.

    I get it. You don’t wanna be hurt again. You’re afraid to be vulnerable and go all in so you look both ways before you fist pump. Do your thang. It’s early.

    1. LOL! I really appreciate your comments. No snark.

      I left the ‘boys out because I’m not sold on them. I definitely agree that the rise of DeMarco has definitely translated to early success for the team. Basically, Romo can be himself (elite, by the way), with less reliance on him for the whole game. This seems like a win/win to me. Every team needs balance.

      My issue with them is that defense. I expected them to be SO BAD this year, and they have been decent. I don’t know if they ARE decent, or if I just had low expectations for them. We’ll see. The offense is where I thought it’d be though. That OL is the truth.

      I won’t be sold on Detroit until they are in the Super Bowl, with the higher score, and the clock reads 00:00. They have given me 30 years of stress. And they gave my dad 50+ years of stress before that, lol. My bias won’t let me put them in a post like this. They were 6-3 last year and managed to miss the playoffs. SMH.

  2. My Niners are having a rough start…In my head all I really care about is our rematch with Seattle..we need to win one of those 2 games….Patriots will bounce back, JETS need to leave Geno alone, Vick aint nooooooooooooo better, If he was he’d be starting in Philly right now!…I gotta see more Charger games..this Rivers kid is all the talk this season…At the end of the day its gonna be a Superbowl rematch….Except Denver will win this time..

  3. Rivers, but more so Luck, will make a good case to be MVP of the year.

    I need RG3 back. Cousins is WHO WE THOUGHT HE WOULD BE!!!

    My boy megatron is starting to show his wear and tear?? Concerns me

    SEA does look like the favorite. Here is a why they consistently draft well: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SPARQ_Training

    The NFC South looks like garbage. Does anyone play DEF??
    The NFC East may not be as bad as many people thought (minus my Redskins)

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