We’ve all been there.
We have all had to tell someone that we weren’t interested. Whether it be we weren’t interested in being in a relationship or being more than platonic friends. It’s a compromising position. To the majority of us who don’t want to intentionally hurt someone, we spend time trying to find the right words. It’s my thinking that women in particular have an issue with this.
For whatever reason I think that ladies try to save face as much as possible. When a guy shows interest in her and she isn’t interested she begins to show “signs.” Women are always showing signs. Many guys don’t realize this til after the fact. When it’s all said and done a woman might say “I tried to hint to you,” or “I tried to give you the signs.” and I know many guys who would react “why didn’t you just say so?” Which is a pretty valid question.
What I will say is that there are a lot of guys who make it hard for this to be possible. Quite frankly a lot of women think men can’t handle the truth. They feel this way because too many guys flap their gums after being turned down. You can’t win every time, that’s just the game. The most insecure figure that this is their license to come up with a predictable meme that shits on a woman that turned him down. Of course as I was reminded this past weekend, there are males and there are men. And a man “gets it.” In every facet men “get it.” That means that a man gets it if you’re not interested.
Men want a few things from a woman he’s interested in.
Namely, a guy wants his time not to be wasted, and he wants clarity. With that you’re probably thinking if he “gets it” then he should get my signs. I think you have a point, but above all else you want a guy to always respect you. Trust me when I tell you that a man would respect your honesty. We’d love you forever knowing we didn’t waste time and money. We’ll always see you in a positive light because you didn’t pull our finger.
A man can take that honesty.
There’s no need for the smoke and mirrors with us. Save the “distance” and the signs for the insecure homeboy. This subject reminds me of undergrad. I was talking to a girl for a short time, I might’ve been about 19. I’m single and sewing my royal oats of course and there was one girl I was curious about. We went out, we had a night or two of a little fooling around, but nothing crazy. But before things go to a place where she thought she wouldn’t have control, she called me to come to her face to face one day. She simply told me that we want two different things. She wasn’t willing to compromise that and she suggested we just stop where we are. Til this day I appreciate that. It’s always how I wanted something like that to be handled. I was always given the advice that break ups and serious conversations are best held in person. There’s something about it that’s really respectable.
So to answer this post’s question, there is a way to let a man down easy.
The easiest way is to be honest, because a man can handle that. Be honest and respectful and you won’t be seen as some bitch. We know you don’t want to be seen as a bitch . I assure you if you handle things as a woman a man will no doubt see it and appreciate it. So going forward, keep it funky it’ll save you all headache in the long run.
Have any of you had trouble shutting someone down? What has been your experiences with break ups or telling someone you weren’t interested?
These are my words and I make no apologies.
DamnPops is a writer on the staff at SBM: “I’m not a biter, I’m a writer for myself and others. ” Brooklyn born dude trying to figure out this life just like you. Come on this journey with me. Follow me on Twitter @DamnPOPS