Home Other Stuff We Like The First Ever College Football Playoff Mocked Rankings

The First Ever College Football Playoff Mocked Rankings



If you didn’t know (which means you NEVER watch ESPN), college football is adopting a long-awaited playoff format this year.

Instead of a computer ranking to determine the TWO teams that play for the championship, a committee of 12* people, mostly made up of old white guys, will meet weekly to determine the FOUR teams that will play for the trophy.

The committee started announcing their inaugural rankings two weeks ago, making sure to point out that one week’s rankings do not impact the next week. This begs the question, “why bother putting out rankings then?” But I digress.

Since these old white guys (plus Condoleezza Rice and Tyrone Willingham) obviously don’t know what they’re doing, I’m putting out my own rankings for you to mock. So without further ado, the first ever Joe Sargent Mocked Ranking:

1. Florida State Seminoles –


I realize Mississippi State is the #1 team in the country. I realize that’s a deserved ranking after beating LSU, Texas A&M (who may stink), and Auburn.

But I’m not ranking anything from Mississippi #1 in ANYTHING without more evidence. Sorry to my Mississippi friends and readers. But let’s be honest…you’re from there…you understand.

Plus, FSU is the undefeated, incumbent champion. They’ve hung onto that undefeated record by a hair this season, and I think they might lose to Miami this week. But until they are dethroned, they are #1.

See Also:  The Three Worst Things About Sports in the Summertime

2. Mississippi State Bulldogs –


This is more like it.

In truth, the Bulldogs are really good. So good that a loss this week at Alabama may not ruin their chance at a spot in the playoffs. They can lose, but they can’t get blown away. They are actually an underdog this week, so Vegas and gamblers aren’t expecting them to leave Tuscaloosa with a win.

The Bulldogs are run by Dak Prescott, their leading passer and second leading rusher. He’s a Heisman candidate, and a “Wait…he’s Black” candidate for his play and name respectively.

I hope MSU runs the table, always love seeing new blood in the mix for a championship.

3. Oregon Ducks –


Always a favorite because of their jerseys, mascot and play style. The Ducks have played all their tough games on paper, so they should keep moonwalk into the playoff as a 2 or 3 seed.

I’m ok with this, although they never seem to deliver against the other heavy hitters at the end of the season.

Since that’s all there really is to say, I’ll give a couple sentences to Marcus Mariota.

I think he’ll be a great pro, regardless of style. I think he’d be MURDER in Philadelphia under Chip Kelly’s system, but, to me, he has the tools to be a good pro. I see him as more Colin Kaepernick than RG3. He’s a smarter runner than Griffin, and a better passer than Kaep. I’d be cool if my Detroit Lions drafted him, and that’s really what it comes down to.

See Also:  We Went There...Is Atlanta Really a Sports Cesspool? An SBM Investigation

4. Alabama Crimson Tide –


Either Mississippi State or Alabama will drop from these perfect rankings by Saturday night.

Alabama seemingly has it all on offense, and you have to wonder how they couldn’t put up 23 points on Ole Miss (their only loss). They have it all firing right now, and they’ll probably win comfortably against the Bulldogs this week.

How the hell do you stop Amari Cooper, probably a top-10 wide receiver in the NFL already, AND TJ Yeldon, the next in a line of Alabama running backs to disappoint in the pros?

You don’t.

So we’ll keep ‘Bama at 4 for now, knowing they’ll end up in these rankings the rest of the way.

Thiiiiiiiiiis close *holds fingers very close together* –

Ohio State Buckeyes –

Pains me to say this as a Michigan fan, but they’re right on the cusp after an impressive win at Michigan State. I thought they’d crash and burn when their starting quarterback went down unexpectedly right before the season. But I was wrong. The stupid Buckeyes have talent.

TCU Horned Frogs –

As someone who rooted for Boise State to upset the BCS for years, I’m also behind TCU. And this year’s team seems like they actually belong in the discussion. They barely lost to Baylor, who just lost to West Virginia, who TCU barely beat…and that is why rankings are impossible. TCU is here for now.

See Also:  Bandwagon Fans Anonymous: Do You Root For an Out of Town Team?

That’s how I see it right now. How about you? Who are your top 4? Your first team out?

Hit the comments and let me know!


  1. Mississippi State, Florida State, Oregon, Baylor, Alabama, TCU, Arizona State, Ohio State

    I think TCU is better than Baylor, but Baylor won the head-to-head and actually outplayed them in that game (which I feel like many people are overlooking because they were down by 21). I’m hoping Kansas State beats Baylor the last week of the season so that TCU can go, but that’s a tall task for the Wildcats on the road.

    Obviously, MSU2/Bama should basically be an elimination game, barring later chaos.

    Arizona State’s only loss was a baffling home blowout (without their starting QB) to a good UCLA team, although they needed a terribly defended Hail Mary to beat USC. Still, they’ve been playing well, and a win at Arizona would not only be good, but it’d set up what should be a nice Pac championship game against Oregon.

    Ohio State needs to beat an 11-1 Nebraska in the Big Ten Championship AND hope the Big 12 or Pac to knock themselves out (or for Florida State to implode). Even with the win @MSU and a potential top 10 game against Nebraska (the Huskers should definitely be top 10 if they finish 11-1), that loss to Virginia Tech is as bad as they come. I’m holding out hope, but I’ve accepted that we’re not going to make the playoffs, nor do I think we should.


Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Get SBM Delivered

Get SBM Delivered

Single Black Male provides dating and relationship
advice for today's single looking for love

You have Successfully Subscribed!

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This