Home Featured Our Flaky Generation: Why Is It So Acceptable to Cancel Plans?

Our Flaky Generation: Why Is It So Acceptable to Cancel Plans?



I hate flakey people. You can even say I despise flakey a** people. For the sake of conversation I’ll define what exactly a flake is, a frequently unreliable person who says that they will do something or attend something, but never shows. Usually this is done without notice.” [urban dictionary].

So Saturday, I posted the above picture on my Instagram page, many of my followers and friends were in unison about our distaste for flakes. Some of them even admitted to being flakes. What troubles me about the conversation is that everyone has experienced the sour aftertaste of a flakes canceling on them, consistently. True, things come up and sh*t happens. But I would much rather people tell me about other people that they know that are the most reliable negros they’ve ever known. You know that person that always answers the phone, always returns your call quickly, or always shows up when you need a hand. Those are the people I’d like to give medals and standing ovations too, but no we’re left with adults that flake and deem it ok.

Negros out here flakier than a box of Popeye’s biscuits…

The thing that confuses me the most,  “Why is it so acceptable to just cancel without regard or consideration in this day and age?”  I would think the advent of smart phones, social media, and other apps would bring flakiness to an all-time low. Even though I was born in the 90’s, I could see why the pre-beeper or the beeper age would’ve been better for preventing the cancellations of plans. Since you didn’t have a cell, it was almost mandatory to show up because there wasn’t such an instantaneous message. Then if you didn’t show up, you would feel like sh*t, because you left a person hanging and you know you would hear about it later. However, people don’t even care about the repercussions from having poor etiquette and wasting others’ time now.

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Because what’s even worse than a flake is a flake that won’t own up to their behavior of cancelling. The flake that doesn’t call in advance to give you the heads up that they’re cancelling. The inconsiderate flake who doesn’t apologize. The flake that flips the script on you when you try to hold them accountable for their actions, as if your time doesn’t matter. The flake that doesn’t think it’s that big of a deal. To those flakes, I have two words… “f*ck em”.

If someone doesn’t value your time, don’t give them any more opportunities to waste it. Time is the most valuable possession we all have. If you don’t agree with this sentiment, well I know who not to spend my time with.

So #SBMFam why is it so common to cancel nowadays? Why is there no regard for people’s time? Why are you made out to to be the bad guy, if you confront a flake? How do you prevent being flaked on? Have you ever flaked on someone? How did they react? If it caused beef, how did you reconcile?

-TheSUNK.com(the Sh*t U Need 2 Know)
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  1. It is not surprising to me that flakiness has increased with the advent of social media. Through Facebook, Twitter, and texting you can send mass invites to people, and it lacks formality. I am not a fan of last-minute invitations and social media lives off of them. If it was a spur of the moment invitation, then you may get a spur of the moment cancelation. My time is important too, and if you invite me at the last minute, unless there were extenuating circumstances, I am clearly not a priority on your list. I have been called flaky before for canceling plans on going to a friend’s parent’s housewarming at the last minute. However, she invited me two days before the event by texting me a picture of the invitation. On the day of, the weather was bad, and the event was over 30 minutes away, so I called and canceled.

    There is a cure for flakiness it’s called “NO.” If you are honest with yourself that you would rather watch Netflix or pick lint out of your bellybutton than hang out it’s okay to decline an invitation.

    1. I agree, if an invite feels half hearted I’ll probably pass. Too many you should come thrus, not enough formal invites. And yeah Facebook invites don’t count, ever.

      1. Trist regardless of how it comes to you an invite is an invite. Because of social media and emails the only paper invites people actually still send out are only to weddings and it’s only because a wedding is a formal invitation.
        Nobody sends out formal paper invites to parties and social events…for what. Waste of time, paper, and money to print them and mail them or whatever. It’s definitely more common sense and practical to just email or send on fb or whatever.
        Now unless the event or thing was planned at the last minute and thats why the invite was sent at the last minute, yes i agree last minute invites are not cool.
        But damn how exactly do yall want to be invited to events and social gatherings?????? I’m just curious…lol.

        1. lol….how much notice are you talking about?
          Because only people i know with children do everything “in advance.” I’m in a relationship but i have no children as of yet. So my friends and I and my man and i do things on the fly all the time.
          One of the luxuries of not having any children to worry about. You can be “spontaneous.” ijs.

  2. When a person shows you who they are, believe them. I will accept the excuse 1st time, but after a 2nd I will no longer waste my time.

    I personally feel we live in a relatively rude society. Most people are selfish, so if something comes up “better” even at a moments notice without many details of new situation they switch out. They don’t call because they really don’t want to hear about how unreliable we think he or she is.

    1. Agree. I have a friend who cancells on a regular basis and her excuse is always something to do with being lazy or too comfortable to leave home especially in the cold winter months.

  3. I’m, quite sadly, a pretty flakey person. That’s mostly because I am disorganized and have an inability to say no. So I’ll book a million things back to back in one day giving myself half an hour to make a twenty minute drive knowing full well that traffic can be a bitch. I’m working on that. But I try and make up for it by always being there. I answer my phone most of the time or call back if I can’t. I rarely leave texts hanging. I make sure I reach out to people. What I find though is that doing all this makes it easier for people to leave me hanging since I’m always there. Which of course causes me to slowly stop giving a damn

  4. “I would think the advent of smart phones, social media, and other apps would bring flakiness to an all-time low.” This right here. I definitely feel u on this cause I’ve thought the same thing…lol.

  5. “If someone doesn’t value your time, don’t give them any more opportunities to waste it.” also agree with that statement. I may even post it up on my fb page.
    I can’t stand flakes either. I believe that there are so many flakey people in the world today simply because they can be. There are typically no consequences and/or repercussions to being flakey. Though they may care about the people they’re flakey with, the worst that can happen is that you stop getting invites. But thats of no consequence because if you’re flaking out on invitations from certain people then obviously you never wanted to be bothered in the first place. So the ceasing of invites could actually be looked at as a godsend.
    People are flakey with their children all the time. So I’m not surprised by it. Just very disappointed and saddened by it. I don’t ever flake on people. For one I’m real and as bold as they come. I have no qualms whatsoever with telling folks “no, i don’t feel like it.” I don’t even make up excuses. I straight up say “no i don’t feel like company or no i want to be alone” or whatever the real reason is. Thats just how we do in my family. Many times sadly, flakeyness is inherited and a learned behavior. If you’ve seen your parents and family do it constantly, then chances are, the apple won’t fall far from the tree. The only way to avoid being flaked on that i know of is to completely cut off the flakers. Now if they’re family and/or friends or older children then simply know them and take them as they are. Stop inviting them, then they will have nothing to say no to. If they ask, “why don’t i get invited?” Let them know because their flakers. I tell all my flakey friends and family about themselves, and they know i don’t fool with them like that when it comes to invites.


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