Recently I read a Facebook status in which a guy was speaking in retrospect. The following I’ll be pretty much paraphrasing. The man goes on to say that he was curved for being too sophisticated and nice. he says that the man that the woman eventually curved him for was less sophisticated and ultimately got the said woman pregnant. In the end the other guy doesn’t stick around to be in the child’s life and the man writing the post is seemingly thriving in his. He went on to say that the woman “thought she had it all figured out prior to pregnancy, how about now?”
What followed this Facebook status were many women calling the poster bitter.
One woman even said that he should thank God for dodging a bullet instead of trying to bash someone who was served a dose of harsh reality. There was some bitterness to the post admittedly. At the same time there is much more under the surface than how the post came across.
There’s so much irony that I think this guy felt prior to posting this status.
The most obvious irony was that he was now in a more advantageous position now than when he started talking to this woman. The other irony here is that here lays this woman whom this guy was once gaga for. In essence it seems like he sees her as damaged goods now. In his mind this woman lowered her stock once she didn’t choose him. I loosely touch on that subject here in a past post. Right or wrong, that’s probably this guy’s thought process.
What he experienced here I think many men have.
I also feel that what he expressed wasn’t solely out of any bitterness. It did have a stench of bitter. To me, it was him saying “yeah, I did dodge a bullet.” In my own life I have seen similar patterns with women. Something that I think many people can relate to is the proverbial “back then they didn’t want me, now I’m hot…” This could pertain to someone losing weight, or reaching a certain level of prestige. At one point someone wasn’t checking for you, now all of a sudden they are. Many times with women, they don’t see the benefits in some guys until they’re older or they’ve become a single parent (in this case). I’m sure there are many reasons for this, but none that I will speak on today. My point is just that life has a way of humbling us all. We all get older and begin to realize what’s really important.
The guy that wrote this status was shedding light on this. What he was looking for in response was accountability. A lot of men would love to hear a woman say “I was wrong” or “I apologize.” Men are asked to be accountable all of the time. For those of us who are, it’s refreshing to hear a woman say that she might’ve made a wrong decision. The women who commented on this status were all defensive. They wouldn’t give his situation not one strand of credence. I thought that was unfair.
The status could have been worded differently.
But what the status provided me with was an idea to bring this discussion on this platform. If we all concede that the status was bitter, can we still have a conversation about making wise choices? Although women can always counter this all by saying that “you like who you like,” I still think there’s room for discussion. We can ask if maturity in a woman’s case is ever a factor when things like this happen? We could also ask if women really believe that their alternative choice is the better choice? I see no harm is having this dialogue. I think all of us, men or women have experienced this type of thing first hand or have seen it through friends.
Albeit a status that lacks finesse and decorum that you’d need to yield constructive feedback from women; it is relevant. In speaking about delicate subjects like this you damn near have to walk on egg shells when you’re being critical of women. That doesn’t guarantee you getting humility from them in return either. But it harkens back to my post title. Can men ever successfully call women out on anything? Can women do any wrong? What do you say? What are your thoughts on the Facebook status? How would you handle things differently? The status wasn’t perfect, but I took constructive things from it.
These are my words and I make no apologies.
DamnPops is a writer on the staff at SBM: “I’m not a biter, I’m a writer for myself and others. ” Brooklyn born dude trying to figure out this life just like you. Come on this journey with me. Follow me on Twitter @DamnPOPS