Let’s think about it. We all have some friends and while we love them dearly we know that they’re kind of messed up. The secret is we’re not telling them. We don’t want to hurt their feelings because we love them. What happens next is that our friends keep going through life in and out of relationships, some good and some bad, and nothing seems to stick. Or the relationships that do stick are completely dysfunctional and you are certain they’re only in it because they’re afraid to be single.
Why don’t you just tell them what their flaws are? Why not just tell your friends the honest reasons why they can’t keep a relationship? Are we all just going to act like it’s their problem and not ours? Even despite the fact that each time they experience problems in their love life they run to us?
I guess what spawned this thought process was that I have friends both male and female who are struggling to find love and companionship. I get in a lot of trouble for saying this because it’s a morbid thought but some of them are running out of time. Running out of time doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re getting too old to find someone. It could very well mean that you’ve exhausted all your options and your reputation is so shot that there’s little to no chance anyone is willing to take a chance on you.
We all have these friends too. If you don’t have a friend like this then you are that friend. I have a friend who is bat shit crazy and I should probably tell her that but you know what I do? I tell her that she just hasn’t met the right guy for her yet and send her back out there on the streets looking for love. I have a friend who is a stage 5 creepazoid and I should probably tell him to stop stalking the women he dates but you know what I do? I tell him that women say they want to spend time with the person they dating but then don’t actually want to see him. They both keep on doing the same things over and over again.
I guess what I’m saying is that we’re not helping anyone out by being bad friends. I guess what I’m also saying is that if you’re single and wondering why (something I think that people should spend less time worrying and wondering about in the first place) then it’s probably a good idea to blame your friends.
I can’t count the times that I have been asked by a friend, “How come you didn’t tell me I was acting that way?” and the only response that I have for them is “I figured you had to see it for yourself.” Or I count the times that I finally could see what I was doing wrong and the changes I needed to make and wondered why the people closest to me didn’t point out these blatant flaws.
Friends, even the best of them, let you live your life. They love you for you. That love prevents them from wanting to hurt your feelings or go through any pain. That’s why we have to take upon ourselves to remind our friends that if they’re really our best of friends they won’t let us fall victim to flaws that we can control. Our friends will be married with families of their own and we’ll still be kicking around rocks in this dating world that’s going to hell. I think it’s time for us to make a few phone calls to those beloved friends.