Home Dating & Relationships Dating Views From The 6: A Retrospective On Women As My 26th Birthday Approaches

Views From The 6: A Retrospective On Women As My 26th Birthday Approaches


At this point I am less than a week from my 26th birthday. 25 was a fun year, a progress year. I expect 26 to be more of the same just with some bigger moves to be made. It was my own bright idea to share with my SBM family some thoughts I have and lessons I’ve learned as I begin to enter my 26th year on this here earth. Consider it my last piece of coherent writing prior to Hennypalooza this Saturday, as that is my birthday as well. Check out the following let me know of your own lessons you’ve learned about the opposite sex as you’ve aged:

Men and women are inherently different.

I’ve accepted that  men and women will speak different languages on some things. It makes no sense to really be angered by this anymore. I accept how we can be different, I try to be understanding of it all.

Nice guys sort of finish last.

Nice guys really don’t finish last. There’s someone out there for everyone. Someone will dig most aspects about who you are. It can take a while, it can take a long while. These things don’t run on our time. In between relationships, you owe it to yourself to put your energy into bettering yourself and your situation. That positive energy will be rewarded at one time or another. But what won’t be rewarded is bitching about nice guys finishing last. If you run the same play and the defense has figured it out, change the play. It’s that simple.

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Good morning texts count.

Now I don’t think the success of your relationship hinges on your ability to send timely good morning text. I do think that good morning texts help. In my early twenties I was horrible at sending those things. I’d get an earful sometimes because someone might not hear from me til maybe 2 p.m. That was just how I was back then. I’m sort of the same way now. I wake up and immediately start getting breakfast,freshening up and getting ready for my day. Many times I’m not really texting anyone. As I got older I used the morning commute to send my good morning text. It’s a nice gesture that she’ll appreciate. It doesn’t hurt, if you can do it make sure that you do.

There’s nothing like a genuinely funny woman.

It’s pretty cliche to say that men appreciate a woman with a sense of humor. We get it confused a bit in my opinion. Sure a woman can crack a joke from time to time. But a sense of humor is knowing when to crack a certain joke, or getting a joke that maybe many other wouldn’t. If you meet a woman who is genuinely witty it shoots her stock up way through the roof. As I’ve grown I’ve appreciated women like this even more. They keep things interesting.

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Independent thinkers are a must.

I’ve realized I have got to have a woman who has her own way of thinking. I enjoy having my thoughts challenged, and I love having good discussion. The moment someone can teach me something new and open my mind up, my interest is peaked. It’s always great when a woman’s looks aren’t the only main attraction.

I could probably go on and on, but you all have lives and maybe last minute Christmas shopping to do. As you’ve gotten older what lessens and thoughts have you taken away from dating? I’m curious to know. On the 27th I’m looking forward to another year of growth; with you all of course!

I hope all of the readers of SBM have a great, safe and positive holiday season. Make sure it’s filled with love, generosity and humility. You all can look to hear from me again after New Year’s.

These are my words and I make no apologies.

DamnPops is a writer on the staff at SBM: “I’m not a biter, I’m a writer for myself and others. ” Brooklyn born dude trying to figure out this life just like you. Come on this journey with me. Follow me on Twitter @DamnPOPS


  1. Good morning text…. Yes, a guy can send a text everyday to a girl he is digging…. Yes, she may even respond everyday and the guy may think he is on to something….. However, I think some people miss the key factor….. If the feelings aren’t mutual by both parties then the effort the guy is displaying is pointless.

  2. Nice guys don’t finish last, boring guys do. You’re exactly right about figuring out the offense. Learning to disguise your gameplan will get you further in your quest for a relationship. Be mysterious. Gloss up your monotonous activities.

    1. I agree, nice guys, don’t finish last. People who have difficulty relating to others tend to finish last. I’ve had, so called, “nice guys” stare at me from across the room, taking more than two hours to work up the courage to say hello. When they open their mouths, they become even more strange. His self proclaimed niceness is borderline creepy.

      They work up their nerves into an even more uncomfortable position. Calm down and just say hello.

      1. Lol! What’s boring to one is acceptable by the next. I wouldn’t take it personally. I’m pretty laid back….considered boring to many. However, I love to laugh and go out less than moderately. I’m ok with my level of boring. 🙂

  3. I like independent thinkers and being genuinely funny, it goes both ways. It really does make you more attractive.

  4. “I’ve realized I have got to have a woman who has her own way of
    thinking. I enjoy having my thoughts challenged, and I love having good
    discussion. The moment someone can teach me something new and open my
    mind up, my interest is peaked. It’s always great when a woman’s looks
    aren’t the only main attraction. ” – A very rare breed

  5. What I’ve learned most about dating is the art of listening. It’s essential. Not matter what you feel or want the person to feel/convey… listen to what they actually say and adjust accordingly. Ooo and I love GM texts. They are so good just to help stay connected.

  6. I enjoyed reading your perspective.

    I’ve learned:
    *to pay attention to everything that’s said and compare words to actions.
    *Every battle isn’t worth a fight; choose wisely.
    *If it doesn’t feel right, cut my losses and move on.
    *I don’t owe anyone an explanation for my actions. However, if you’re important enough I might share.

  7. I’ve learned that some people are bound to screw up. You can’t save them from themselves, and it’s not always a reflection on you.

  8. Great list!
    GM texts are cool…GM calls are 1000x better! Group/Mass texts had me side-eyeing that stuff if my name wasn’t included. A quick “wanted to hear your voice, you good, be safe, have a great day” call goes a LONG way.
    Verbal sparring for the WIN!!!!
    There’s a line from the show Martin that fits EVERY situation in life. If you don’t find humor in the show or didn’t watch the show, being with me for extended periods of time will be problematic…my one liners will go over your head. And we can’t have that! In fact, I used to ask dudes if they watched/enjoyed Martin to determine if we had similar humor.
    I’ll also add to the list:
    – If you wanna know the truth about how they feel, watch their actions.

  9. One of the biggest lessons I think that needs to be learned about the opposite sex is that men are actually more emotional than women. That’s because they grow up in a world where showing or expressing emotion is deemed unmanly. So they have to go out of their way to mask all of their emotions. As a woman, it is important to know your man and be patient with him, understanding that some of his frustrations or odd behaviors can definitely be a simple cry for some affection or emotional attention….or simply a nice scalp rub lol
    Happy Holidays and Happy 2015 New Year to you too! I enjoyed reading the 2014 articles, can’t wait to see what you have up your sleeve for the next year.

  10. A woman who can resist the gravitational pull of the female herd is a must for me; I’m not really high on Moms, Aunts, sisters and girlfriends having proxy votes, voices or power in my relationship. A critical thinker outside of the institutionally programmed box accompanied by a reasonably high social and emotional IQ are requisites. A woman who relishes her femininity, but respects my masculinity in possession of a ” glass half full ” mentality. A pleasant woman with a touch of sarcastic Wit and self deprecation is the stuff dreams are made of.

  11. My husband has abandon me and the kids for the the past 8months now, and refuse to come back because he was hold on by a woman whom he just met, for that, my self and the kids has been suffering and it has been heel of a struggle, but I decide to do all means to make sure that my family come together as it use to, then I went online there I saw so many good talk about this spell caster whose email is onimalovespell@gmail.com so I had to contact him and in just 4days as he has promised, my husband came home and his behavior was back to the man I got married to.I cant thank the spell caster enough what what he did for me, I am so grateful. I even spoke to the spell caster over the phone, to confirm his existence. His email again is: onimalovespell@gmail.com

  12. -Dating can be intensely scary but it just means that my best me hasn’t met his best him yet… and that’s ok.

    -Feel out loud.

    -Be intentionally transparent in your interactions with everyone. That king of truth is disarming for a lot of people. They either show up or drop out.


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