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No Valentine? NO PROBLEM!


It’s that time of year again.

Tweets of bitterness of conversations of $200.00 dates can only mean one thing! It is Valentine’s Day season. Three days from you reading this I am anticipating that you’ll be occupied exactly how you wish to be. Valentine’s Day is arguably one of the most polarizing holidays that we celebrate. For the most part people love it or hate it. For those that hate it, they hate that the day even exists. Some might see it as just another excuse to feed our economy. There’s a whole myriad of opinions. But year after year Valentine’s Day seems to have it’s relevance.

This post today is dedicated to all those who don’t have a Valentine. It’s dedicated to those who don’t have a Valentine but wish they did. Believe me, it’s quite alright to wish you had a Valentine; think of it as our little secret. To those who are single on this holiday I seek to turn that frown upside down. You see, you’re going to be fine. As a single black male, I’ve been in this position a time or three. Today I tell you basically what this holiday means to me and how I spend it when I don’t have a Valentine.

If you’ve followed my writing for some time then you know all about The Valentine’s Day Chronicles. Basically it was a trilogy of real life accounts of my Valentine’s Day experiences with some ladies in the past. Each story was a positive one and the idea behind it was to promote  being creative with your plans.

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What do you do when there’s no one to do anything for?

I tend to do things for other people. I see Valentine’s Day as a day to show love if nothing else. It’s a day to celebrate good feelings. Celebrate it simply by trying to encourage a coworker. Maybe you could buy cupcakes for the office. Surprise a friend with a little gift. Doing things for other people would get you in a great spirit. Bringing someone else joy is just as much a part of this holiday as it is you receiving good things as well.

All too often people get so bogged down by this holiday.

It’s possible some may feel obligated to do certain things. Maybe this holiday brings up bad memories for others. I really think less is more. Fuck what social media is doing and what they’re touting. You can make the simplest things mean something if you know who you’re getting it for. A lot of the joy of this holiday is sucked out because people think that they have to do more than they need to. When all else fails keep it sentimental.

Don’t you dare frown on Valentine’s Day.

If you’re spending it alone then treat yourself. V-Day is about all kinds of love. I promise you that you won’t  know love till you’re digging the ish out of yourself. I mean that in the most sanitary of ways possible just to be clear. And just to end this off on a jovial note, if you’re in the New York City area, it’s NBA All Star Weekend. Get out feel the vibes, you’ll definitely be able to keep yourselves busy if push comes to punch. What are you doing this Valentine’s Day?

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Let’s spread love this Valentine’s Day. You loving yourself is enough validation. These are my words and I make no apologies.

Postscript: This Thursday February 12, 2015 at 6:30 p.m. I will be participating in a panel discussion called Boy Meets Girl. Myself and two other distinguished gentlemen will be discussing dating dynamics at CloudSocial NYC. There will be time for Q&A as well as a mixer afterwards. If you’re interested definitely come give it a look. It’s $10 and the proceeds go to the BRC which houses people affected by domestic violence. Click the link for more details.

DamnPops is a writer on the staff at SBM: “I’m not a biter, I’m a writer for myself and others. ” Brooklyn born dude trying to figure out this life just like you. Come on this journey with me. Follow me on Twitter @DamnPOPS


  1. This is going to be my first Valentine less Valentines Day…the fact that its on a Saturday i could easily just hide away in my comfy abode, maybe grab dinner with a homegirl and watch All Star weekend ish

  2. ​What do you do when there’s no one to do anything for?
    Simple, the same thing you do the day before and the day after Valentine’s Day – nothing. And that’s fine. And if you choose to do something ‘special’ for whoever or whatever, that’s fine too.

    All too often people get so bogged down by this holiday.
    I’m hearing more and more couples, mostly marrieds, that they do not see it as a big deal and they no longer GO HARD on V-Day. I think if you find yourself getting BOGGED DOWN, as you say, the pure and simple joy in giving and celebrating has been lost. No need to go broke or get stressed over ANY holiday. But like weddings, folks get easily pressured in to and caught up in to the planning. You can still plan and enjoy. Whats that saying, keep it simple, stupid.

    Don’t you dare frown on Valentine’s Day.
    No need to do this either. These anti-Valentines Day celebrations are really just, well, silly. I understand why certain people get caught up in creating these anti-V-Day social media posts and events: they feel like they have to be doing something so as not to feel whatever it is they think they will feel [or maybe what they felt last year?] on this day if they find themselves with no SugaBoo on Valentine’s Day.

    Folks should really just…RELAX.Period.


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