Home Featured Part 2: 10 Other Things Black Men Look for in a Wife

Part 2: 10 Other Things Black Men Look for in a Wife

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Here’s the second half to 10 Things Black Men Look for in a Wife. This was definitely a long list, but something that’s worth sharing and discussing. I would love for a woman to write a response to this with 20 Things Black Women Look for in a Husband.

Sexually Satisfy

Does he have sex with you because he likes you or because he likes sex with you? A man will have sex with the main woman in his life, not always because she’s the best sexual partner, but sometimes out of convenience. In the back of his mind, however, he has already decided if you can either keep him satisfied for the rest of his life and quench his sexual appetite, or if you’re just the next best thing to his hand.

Fitness and Appearance Management

Before a man gets married, he evaluates your ability to maintain your weight and appearance. So many marriages end because of looks. A man may become resentful towards his wife because she didn’t maintain the image that hooked him in the first place. There is some wiggle room for children, work, etc., but men are visual creatures. Honestly, men fall off too but we’re talking wife material.

Annoyance

Women and people are sometimes annoying, not in necessarily bad ways, but everyone has their quirks. There will be times that you guys will be in close quarters with one another and you might get tired of one another. If he can endure this, most likely you’re a keeper. If your innocent yet somewhat annoying habits don’t bother him, than that man loves you…take my word for it.

See Also:  Marriage For All

True Friends

Regardless of the good sex or the other stuff, are you all genuinely good friends? Does he confide in you? Does he share his most intimate thoughts with you, without a fear of you being judgmental? Can you make your man laugh and forget about his worries? Making your man smile is just as important as making him cum.

Argue Fairly

At one point or another, men usually come to the understanding that they will never be able to out talk or out-argue a woman. As a woman, however, you should understand that sometimes it’s better to be loved than to be right. Every little thing isn’t worth an all out verbal brawl. You should also know that you cannot tell a person who they are(liar, cheater, etc.), you can only tell them what they do.

Party Girl

It’s fine to go out every once in a while. But a man will never wife a chick that likes running the streets more than spending time at home. My Unc told me a long time ago that I would appreciate a woman that’s a homebody…

Loyalty

A man wants a woman that is loyal. This is the predominant component of male-male friendships. Loyalty and honesty are the end all, be all of a relationship. Even if the two of you have children, he should come before them. Even in the Bible, God said “God first, spouse second, children third, and church last.” The only thing that should be able to get between you and him should be clothes(when you’re in public).  Lol

See Also:  Children Raising Parents: The Land Before Retirement

Overwhelm His Senses

The reason why men cheat is because we like variety. Become his variety, stay on top of your game. If he likes sexy black pumps, wear ’em. He likes that Lotus Flower Bomb sh!t, cop it. Take interest in and take heed of the things that he likes and loves. Know that man better than he knows himself. If his interests change, take notes. Study your man, but don’t try to figure him out; just enjoy the subject.

Hope/Optimist/Support

Nothing may be more important than a woman who supports her man’s rational endeavors. A woman needs to be her man’s cheerleader, just as he should be for her. If he has an idea, you should support him. If you all got divorced you would want half, so every effort in forwarding himself as a man, you both should go half.

Impress Them All- Moms, The Boys, Even the Ex’s

What is the impression that you have on the people in his life? Their opinions will matter once he believes he has courted you enough in solitude. Can you gain his mother’s trust? Can you make his boys laugh? Can you make his ex, you know, the one who doesn’t want to leave the picture, respect you because even she can see that you’re a good woman? Can you woo his boss and work family? He needs to know that you won’t fold in these relationships and that you will be an asset rather than a person he has to defend every time you leave the room.

See Also:  When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong: Slandering Your Exes Through Social Media

Do you believe you any of these points are valid? Do you understand us better? What did I say that you weren’t aware of? Would you share this post with your friend? 

Comment(5)

  1. Women and men need/want the same things. We’re just not as different as many choose to imply. I am a woman and resent arguing. Most men love to make the comments about women arguing and wanting to be right and its biased. Any self reflecting man would know that. Every man I know constantly tries to define women and tell them who they are… She makes a statement, and he tells her why she said it and what she really meant….really? These same men speak with condescending tones and believe they are being civil and not arguing because he doesn’t raise his voice. Unbelievable argumentative tactics, that shut me down and cause me to move on. In my experience men love to argue and especially be acknowledged as right.

    1. I think both men and women both want very similar things, they just want them in different ways. For instance, men want loyalty in the form of a woman being a ride or die. Standing by him no matter what, even when he’s broke, busted, and at rock bottom. Never leaving him and staying with him through lies, cheating, and any other issues he may have. Whereas, for women, loyalty goes hand in hand with honesty. It’s funny how I never see honesty at the top of the list of things men want in a woman. Where Honesty, Faithfulness, and Loyalty are at the top of most every womans list of requirements in a man & future husband.
      Men are known for cheating and lying more often than women. Not that women don’t cheat and lie. But most women are satisfied with one man if he’s good to her and everything she needs and wants in a man.
      Also things like having someone who is financially secure is much more important to women than men. Men and women have slightly different roles in relationships and marriages. Which partially explains why we typically want and need different things to be satisfied and happy.

      1. I like your point of view, but I do think we want the same. What I typically find is a difference in how we define those things. We say things differently and we must open our minds to accepting those differences by listening. I think we waste time and energy trying to force someone into our box as opposed to finding that individual who is more like minded to who we are, which is not necessarily being similar in any other way.

  2. I think both lists, parts 1 and 2 were very thorough and on point.

    Particularly Loyalty, Overwhelm His Senses, Hope/Optimist/Support I think are important to most all men.

  3. I like the discussion. I personally feel that we digest too much stimuli that suggest relationships are darn near impossible. We also tend to look for more reasons to disqualify one another than to give each other a chance.

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