Home Featured 14 Crucial Things Black Women Look For In A Husband

14 Crucial Things Black Women Look For In A Husband

In response to the 10 things black men look for in a wife.

A couple weeks ago, singleblackmale.org created a list of Ten Things Black Men Look for in a Wife. And then they followed it up with a part two, adding 10 more attributes and opening the challenge for women to chime in with their thoughts. But most importantly, they asked for a woman’s perspective on what she wanted.

Well, we answered the call! Here’s our list of 14 things black women look for in a husband:

1. A belief system. While many Blacks grow up practicing denominations that align with Christianity, there are also some who practice other religions or are just raised on the premise of spirituality. Either way, a black woman will want a man who shares a similar faith or is faithful to some religion/belief system because it will be the foundation of the family they want to build. It also ensures that the couple is rooted in the same values and morals.

2. Leadership. Statistically, black women pursue college degrees more than their male peers. This may mean women may potentially be more educated or even make more money than their spouse. But what really makes or breaks a relationship will be the ability for the man to respect his wife and to feel empowered to take the lead when appropriate. No matter the distribution of education or wealth in the relationship, his ability to take action and lead will be an asset.

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3. Fitness and appearance. Depending on the woman, physical appearance varies from ‘extremely important’ to ‘doesn’t matter as long as he treats me well’ on the grand scale. However, a man who keeps himself well-groomed and clean will always turn the head of a woman. And the same way men can lose attraction to woman who gains weight or ‘lets themselves go,’ so can women.

4. Financial stability. Women like for men who have the ability to provide. This doesn’t mean buying expensive dinners and gifts but at the bare minimum, a man needs to be able to pay his bills, hold down a job and have a place to live — even if that place is a shared apartment or home. Even more so, if you are in massive debt, you might want to work on your finances before you seriously begin dating.

5. Motivation and grind. Not every man will make six figures or be the breadwinner. But what really separates men is their ability to be motivated to want to move ahead and to also motivate his woman. Most importantly, if things got rough and he was laid off, would he be willing to do whatever he needs within reason to provide for his family?

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6. Family values. Not everyone comes from the home with the white picket fence and married parents. Even if someone comes from a broken home, it doesn’t mean they don’t come from ‘a good family.’ What matters is that the person knows the value of family and those relationships and works to repair them when possible. Resolving any past mother and father issues helps men have successful, respectful marriages and emotionally healthy children of their own.

7.  A social life. No woman wants a man who just sits around waiting on them. Black women want a man with a set of friends, maybe fraternity brothers or work buddies, and/or homeboys from back home. Having friends who you’ve kept for a while is another sign of stability, good character and dependability. It also gives another outlet outside of the relationship.

You can check out the rest of Elle’s post at YourTango. It’s definitely a good one.

Special thanks from the team for the reply and keeping it classy. Respect.


  1. Just remember, having an ‘education’ does not simply make someone intelligent. How one utilizes their knowledge in their personal lives, professional lives, and within their relationships makes them intelligent.
    P.S., black people PLEASE quit labeling yourselves as “educated”. When other groups here us describe ourselves as “educated”, they AUTOMATICALLY think the opposite; they see it as strange, and us as having some sort of inferiority complex. Your intellect should shine through your decision-making, not your self-proclaimed ‘education’.

    1. INDEED…it just sounds ridiculous and it puts me in the mind of the other silly self-proclamations OUR folks love to profess, ie, “strong independent black woman, strong black man, lady, gentleman, class, etc…yada yada” —- its one of many red flags to me. LOL. Who are you trying to convince? Yourself? Because we know you by the fruit that you bare…. ^_^

  2. dead on….spot on with #7. Every relationship has to have balance and that’s one of them. You want to know your woman goes out with her girls whether it’s a play, drinks, dinner, a show, casino, whatever. Even if she only has one or two friends. No man wants a woman who us clingy to the point where you have to be everything to them, she needs an outlet. Same with the gents too, women need that.

  3. New statistics show yes black women pursue more degrees but black men still make more money than black women. Fitness and appearance? I can count on my hand how many black women I see in a day that is fit.

    1. We exist, a lot of dudes not taking care of themselves out here as well, eating crap and being functional alcoholics… and a gut, and have the nerve to require a fit woman.

      1. I think we all se BOTH but generally we pay more attention to that which validates certain ideas that we have – that’s men and women…so basically, another human characteristic that appears to be quite common…I think. LOL

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