I think one of the greatest beauties in life is the fact that there is so much to debate.
There is so much to discuss and so much room to gain more understanding. Once in a while I am lucky to be inspired to write about something that I think would make a great debate or discussion. Today I wanted to reference a piece that was written on SBM recently entitled “Confession of a Church Girl.” The post chronicled a woman putting her best foot forward in living a Christian lifestyle.
A huge part of that lifestyle for those who fully subscribe includes abstaining from sex until marriage. The post touched on this young lady’s struggle succumbing to temptation at times. She repented and started off with a clean slate.
Of course what the writer did was simply set the table.
It was in the comments section of this piece where the people began to eat. There were a number of great points made in the comments section. The gist was really about the pros and cons of abstaining from sex until marriage. A huge point of discussion was the possibility of marrying someone who did not please you in bed. Marrying a person with whom you may have bad sexual chemistry with was a huge concern.
The writer simply stated that she hoped God would send her the right guy and she believes that God will. A couple weeks ago I wrote a piece that touched on the importance of good sexual chemistry. I wondered if we hold our new lovers to too high of expectations based on our experiences with our exes. You can read that here. Today I wonder if we are to simply hope God sends us the person that rings our bells in the bedroom.
I think it’s too easy to tell someone that the idea is silly.
I also think it’s a tad condescending to say that to a person because it’s based on their beliefs. I wouldn’t dare deliberately disrespect someone’s beliefs. However, I do not think humans are naturally conditioned to want to wait for said things to happen. I appreciate some of the elements that religion brings to the world. Working to bring good things to those around you, staying humble, and understanding that you still have to help yourself in order to reap rewards. Those are all great qualities. They also have something in common. The qualities I mentioned are all tangible.
That may be the biggest difficulty for people who are trying to live Christian lives. They can’t see what will happen next. It’s all faith based. So people fall off the wagon of that stringent lifestyle due to their human tendencies and curiosities. They want to see how they will connect with someone else sexually. The fact that believing God for the perfect lover is not as tangible than experimenting with people will always cause people to fall short.
I’m not super religious although I believe in God. So I never made it a point to abstain. Abstaining was never taught to me in my household. I came from the school of put a Jimmy on at all costs! That method has done well for me I must say. So with that being how I go about things in terms of relationships, I don’t believe its God’s responsibility for there to be sexual chemistry in relationships.
Of course this clashes with what the Bible may say.
But many things clash with the Bible at times. People nowadays are more aware of their bodies and needs. People have way more information available to them. People have more of an idea of what they want than they did 4,000 years ago. So with that there has to be some tweaks. Of course that is only my opinion. But the risk of waiting till marriage to have sex and then be grossly disappointed can be very real. If it isn’t something that matters to you then you’re in great shape. If sexual chemistry becomes something that is paramount to you then you may have gone in too deep at that point. I respect all beliefs. This was only my two cents. Do you think its God’s responsibility to pair you with someone you are sexually compatible with? Is the search for “the one” more about trial and error? What say you, the good people of SBM? Let’s talk about it.
These are my words and I make no apologies.
DamnPops is a writer and podcaster on the staff at SBM: “I’m not a biter, I’m a writer for myself and others. ” Follow me on Twitter @DamnPOPS and @NegroPPodcast . Also, subscribe oniTunesto the Negro Please Podcast and visit our website here!