Are Straight Men Confused By Transgender Women?
“Men are only upset at transgender women because they are confused as to if they should be attracted to them.”
Talk about a mouth full right? It was only a week ago that I said the beauty of life is the ability to have great debates and discussions. In the interim, we now have a name for the athlete formerly known as Bruce Jenner. That’s right, excuse my French, and call her Caitlyn. What Caitlyn has done in just a mere few days is spark another conversation about gender identity in America. It is a needed conversation.
An aspect of this conversation that I think is interesting is how straight men react to transgender women. Many people think that what we think shouldn’t matter. Maybe they’re right. I happen to think all thoughts are necessary to push the conversation forward. Today’s post isn’t about whether or not I think that this whole thing is right or wrong. I honestly believe that people should live how they want to. I did want to highlight the quote I highlighted above.
That’s a quote that I saw a bit of on Twitter in the wake of Caitlyn revealing her new name and new look. The quote has a tone to it that makes me scratch my head a little. On one end of it there’s a vibe of humor. On the other end I don’t think anyone should be upset about how someone else wants to live. But the issue of a straight man feeling confused by a transgender woman could be a real one. Maybe that issue is similar to a lot of guy’s issues with makeup. Maybe some guys might feel deceived if they found out a woman they were dating had a sex change. It is a confusing thing.
I don’t think this is something that we can brush under the rug as simple.
I was born and raised in East Flatbush Brooklyn. I was born in the late 80’s, so I really came up in the 90’s. The things that I see in society today I couldn’t even fathom as a kid. As a guy who hopes to be a parent one day, it’s important that I gain more understanding of all people. My child is going to come up in a world where people will be more comfortable being themselves. Children may identify with an opposite gender at a younger age. So many intangibles come into play and will continue to come into play as society’s awareness continues to grow. It’s important that I raise my kid to be tolerant and also have a strong sense of self.
I say all of this to say that I grew up digging women.
I always loved women. So naturally, as I got older and was exposed to people having alternative lifestyles, it took time to build respect for those people’s sensitivities. It took time to understand that them being different in one facet is okay and it isn’t for me to really have issue with. But for a lifetime, you only saw things one way. All in a sudden things switch gears. You ever drive stick and switch gears before there’s enough RPM’s? You’d burn out the clutch.
I don’t think men are confused or upset at transgender women because they aren’t sure if they should be attracted to them. The truth is that a straight man is attracted to women. If a guy sees a woman and doesn’t see anything they deem as suspect (not genuine) about the woman’s physique then his attraction is probably natural. Some guys out there may not care honestly if a woman was transgender or not.
As for me, I’d really only be into a woman who was born a woman. But to anyone else who feels otherwise they should feel how they want to feel without judgment. When it comes to issues regarding gender identity and sexual orientations, my philosophy is simple. What you eat don’t make me s***. It’s none of my business. But we as a human race and especially as millennials owe it to our world’s future to grow with the times. Those who are more cognizant of social issues and sensitivities have to understand that tolerance is a gradual thing. If a guy is confused by a transgender woman that is okay. We weren’t born into the same world. We all didn’t have the same backgrounds. Can your parents intelligently appreciate the craft that is rap music? Probably not. They came up in a different world…and they still can’t stand it.
This is going to take time on all sides.
That needs to be understood. Allow many of us (myself included) some time to be ignorant. We are learning. I will get better. I support Caitlyn doing her damn thing and living how she wants to. More people will understand the more discussion we all end up having. It takes time. Do you all think (straight) men are confused by transgender women because they don’t know if they should be attracted to them? How do you all feel about Caitlyn’s coming out? Could you care less? Let’s get into it.
These are my words and I make no apologies.
DamnPops is a writer and podcaster on the staff at SBM: “I’m not a biter, I’m a writer for myself and others. ” Follow me on Twitter @DamnPOPS and @NegroPPodcast . Also, subscribe on iTunes to the Negro Please Podcast and visit our website here!