Home Advice Why Being Fiscally Responsible Is Sexy

Why Being Fiscally Responsible Is Sexy

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It’s amazing how many layers to dating there are.

The more time flies by, the more different things begin to matter more to me. These things aren’t usually things that you can see. They’re really ideas, attitudes, and philosophies I look for a potential prospect to have. In conversing with different people, I try to read their disposition on certain subjects.

One subject that has begun to matter more to me as of late is finance.

At 26, finances matter. When you date someone you look to see how someone manages their funds. It says a lot about someone who can live within their means. What I’ve noticed with some (at my age) is that they don’t live within their means. Some of these young ladies have poor practices as it pertains to managing expenses and their fun money.

This experience has shown me loud and clear that credit is still for people with money. There are too many people who put the carriage before the horse as it pertains to managing money. How you manage your money is a huge indicator to how responsible a person is.

The perspective that I’m coming from is one of my experiences with women.

I’m well aware that many guys aren’t good with their money as well. I’ve heard more than enough date horror stories. I think a word we all need to take heed to in life is “no.” Say no sometimes. We don’t always have it. As a matter of fact if I say no to attend a mix of some sort, there’s an 80% chance that it’s because I’m budgeting.

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We live in this connected world where so many events are happening, and you’ve just got to be there!! Damn it, it’s going to be a MOVIE! Well that sure is something to consider isn’t it? But there’s always a bigger picture. Saying no sometimes in the name of saving some bread is okay. Saying no means saying yes to a little sacrifice.

Say no to that date fellas when you know you ain’t got it.

Don’t make an ass out of yourself. As a man you’re the symbol of security and stability. Being decent with your finances is a huge indicator of how secure and stable you can be. When that young lady is out with you, she’ll get that vibe. The broke n**** with the Gucci belt just won’t look the same as he used to. Nothing against the Gucci though, but make sure everything else is covered before you stunt.

Ladies, say no to that sale sometimes.

If something seems like it’s too much bread at a time then wait a while to save the bread needed to get it. Use credit for the real stuff. Try to do that at least. I know you all hate seeing men who can’t afford more than Netflix and bread bowl pasta from Domino’s on a first date. Well guys hate hearing stories of you all not being able to afford something that you never planned to buy in the first place. If you’re making a pretty expensive purchase, save accordingly. I know Dame Dash isn’t into saving, but it’s useful; I promise.

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Dating is sexy when it’s responsible.

How you manage money is very indicative of how responsible you are. When you have a little bit of money to fool with dating can be fun. You have some more options. You can be a bit more spontaneous with the activities. There’s no worry hanging over your heads as to if you all can do something. It’ll only be a question of when. Learn to say no sometimes. In the long run you’ll be happier. You’ll probably draw better prospects to you as well. You see when your shit is together, you truly won’t accept someone who still doesn’t have a clue. Being responsible is sexy!

These are my words and I make no apologies.

DamnPops is a writer and podcaster on the staff at SBM: “I’m not a biter, I’m a writer for myself and others. ” Follow me on Twitter @DamnPOPS and @NegroPPodcast . Also, subscribe on iTunes to the Negro Please Podcast and visit our website here!

Comment(11)

  1. This is too accurate family… Being in a relationship now is so much better that we discuss finances and budgeting tactics. We still have levels to our outings (dinner, event, nightcap drinks) but we do it less often. I was spending way too much on dates every month… like 25% of my budget was tied up in dates. That’s as much as the rent!

    1. It’s a reality man, you behave with the bread long enough and y’all can really splurge on something down the line, but we all still building right now.

    2. Hi, I and my ex boyfriend broke up about 7 weeks now. We’ve been together for 4 years. We had so many issues during in our relationship. We got engaged and eventually he changed his mind not to get married soon and told me he doesn’t want kids. It broke my heart. He also told me that culture differences is another problem between us. When we broke up I beg many times. He told he doesn’t want to go back in to our relationship and he wants us to move on. I stayed another 2 weeks with him while I am looking for a new place. we had sex a couple times. He told me he just want us stay as friends.
      When I moved out, he didn’t txt or call but when we each other we are fine talking like a friend. Is there anyway that i can win him back? that was the question i asked my sister and she told me he have had an encouter with the famous love doctor and i contacted him and he prayed for my relationship and my boyfriend came back to me and my relationship was restored and now we will be getting married soon. Please get to know him and ask for his help on ([email protected]). The love doctor is the best and will help you 🙂

  2. Good post bro. Man I can’t say again how important this is. My current GF is having mad issues with this, but realizes if she wants to get the ring, she is going to have to be more fiscally responsible.

  3. I will say Amen and Amen again….”The broke n**** with the Gucci belt!!!” Classic and oh so true. Young people seem to be naive about the fact that they will not be young forever. What we do now, will set the tone for our lives later….including our financing practices. We’re trying to live like people on TV not realizing the financial gap between us and them. I’m not into stunnas. I’m into a man who can look clean, live within his means and strive for higher. And as for me, I was rescued by Learnvest and the LearnvestDaily blog (amazing tools)…..Plus they’re finally coming to Chicago…TODAY…and I will be there…learning more about finances…BOOM and that’s how it’s done…with no Gucci belt (i’m sorry. I can’t stop laughing at that line). great post!

    1. Lol it’s truth. Like I like nice things and I think it’s perfectly fine to. But you have to know when to say yay and when to say nay. Everything in moderation. It’s more than a spiffy quote. It’s the key to longevity and comfort in general.

  4. Damn Pops superb post, and definitely something that needs to be addressed much more.
    This is partly why I’ve heard a few men balk at marriage and children, and the ones who are
    married, complain about it and complain about their wives spending.
    Fella’s it’s common sense. Pay attention to a woman’s spending habits if your looking to get serious about
    her and like everything else. Pay attention to how she manages her money. Ask her about and discuss her debt.
    I’m not saying you necessarily should be pulling anyone’s credit, until your planning for the wedding.
    However, ask her about her debt. How she created it, and how she’s getting out of it. We all have debt.
    Life in and of itself creates debt and bills. The important thing is how we handle the debt, and are most all of
    our bills paid on time, as long as we have a source of income. Same goes for ladies. Pay attention to how a man spends his money and how much debt he has.
    Based on my conversations with men the men in my life and men I’ve known, and what I know about marriage and divorce laws, men it Particularly Behooves you to ensure that the woman you marry, commit your life to, and comingle your money and finances with be fairly responsible with money, and have the ability to be conservative when necessary with her spending.
    Sadly I’ve known several men who have went broke, bankrupt, and had serious financial problems due in part to a wife, and/or ex-wife, even my own father.
    Particularly in marriage, the wrong man, and/or woman can partially cause you financial ruin. It’s your responsibility to ensure that the person u could potentially marry shares your thinking, values and ideal’s on money. Moreove, it’s important that they implement those values and idea’s into their daily lives. We don’t all have to be financial experts, and/or accountants. However we should all learn and know how to handle our own finances as we get older. We should all be able to use good common sense to not have our income be swallowed up by our lifestyle, and live beyond our means.

    1. Sometimes a tuna sammich in the crib is a better idea than the surf and turf from Popeye’s, it’s little things like that yo! But yes to everything you said above. You hit all the nails on the head.

      1. “Sometimes a tuna sammich in the crib is a better idea than the surf and turf from Popeye’s.” Exactly Damnpops. But hey, since when did Popeye’s start serving surf and turf??? lol
        One thing I’m doing to save $$ is packing my lunch every single day.
        Since I’ve worked in Corporate America I’ve seen many many more whte people do this, than blck. I had to decide to stop being lazy and spending unnecessarily, regardless of whether I had it or not. There are so many other things that I enjoy doing that that money can go towards . Like activities that enrich my life that I can put the $40.00 per week that I used to spend for lunch at Panera or the Co Cafeteria towards. I’m enjoying the sipping and painting classes I get to do more often. Pottery, Ceramics, things of that sort. Now I put that lunch-money towards Art, which I really like as a hobby. So until I get with another company that offers free lunches, Bree will be doing more cooking, making more sammiches, and brown bagging it. lol.
        I cussed myself out for not doing this much sooner than a few months ago. But, better late than never. 🙂

    2. Hi, I and my ex boyfriend broke up about 7 weeks now. We’ve been together for 4 years. We had so many issues during in our relationship. We got engaged and eventually he changed his mind not to get married soon and told me he doesn’t want kids. It broke my heart. He also told me that culture differences is another problem between us. When we broke up I beg many times. He told he doesn’t want to go back in to our relationship and he wants us to move on. I stayed another 2 weeks with hhim while I am looking for a new place. we had sex a couple times. He told me he just want us stay as friends.
      When I moved out, he didn’t txt or call but when we each other we are fine talking like a friend. Is there anyway that i can win him back? that was the question i asked my sister and she told me he have had an encouter with the famous love doctor and i contacted him and he prayed for my relationship and my boyfriend came back to me and my relationship was restored and now we will be getting married soon. Please get to know him and ask for his help on ([email protected]). The love doctor is the best and will help you 🙂

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