Fellas, it’s crucial that you understand these two things:
- Seeking the approval of women actually repels them
- How to stop breastfeeding
There’s always going to be some woman, somewhere, who’s annoyed or upset with you. If you spend your life trying to please the women around you, (1) you’re going to miserable, and (2) you’ll never succeed at pleasing them. You’ll never succeed because even if you somehow manage to do every single thing the women in your life want, (here’s a little known secret) they’ll be annoyed with you for trying so hard to please them. It’s impossible to please women, if your goal is to please women. I’ll say it again:
Here’s the problem though: a lot of you GROWN men are still breastfeeding and don’t even realize it! You treat the women around you as if your survival depends on their approval. You gain a sense of validation when she gives you a little attention –agrees with your opinion –laughs at your joke –tosses you some… affection. And because you’re so invested in what women think about you, you’ll never truly be an attractive man. It’s okay though. We’re here to help. Let’s get to it.
So What is Breastfeeding?
The greatest metaphor ever crafted by man, that’s what! But seriously, emotional and psychological breastfeeding occurs when men –grown, hairy, men –seek validation from women in order to gain a sense of well-being. Like a newborn who depends on his mother’s teat to fulfill his physical, emotional, and psychological needs, some men subconsciously depend on the approval of women in order to feel okay about themselves. These types of men are known by different names: nice guys, pushovers, etc. However, they all display these same behaviors (especially with women):
- Avoiding conflict
- Difficulty making their needs a priority
- Changing, undermining, or ignoring their values, opinions and beliefs
- Difficulty maintaining boundaries
- Pattern of relationships with crazy, manipulative, low self-esteem women
- Relating more to women than to men
- The majority of their friends are female
How do women REALLY view Nice Guys (Breast feeders)?
You ever heard of the friend zone? Most women can’t even put it into words, but there’s something about nice guys that really turns them off. They view these types of men as weak –they feel unsafe –they think, “If my man can’t stand up TO me, how in the hell will he stand up FOR me?” #AMMIRIGHT LADIES?
Healthy people aren’t attracted to unhealthy people. That’s right, approval seeking is unhealthy. A healthy adult male should be able to meet his own emotional needs –he doesn’t live or die by the opinion of others. Because he’s able to do this, he is in a position to give love rather than constantly needing to receive it. Also, he’s able to easily reject women that don’t meet his standards. In the end, this makes him really attractive to emotionally healthy women, who want to be wanted but not needed.
A needy man on the other hand, is anything but attractive. Women view him as a son, (or worse) as another one of their girlfriends. An emotionally healthy woman who isn’t interested in mothering a grown man, and already has friends, will usually opt out of interacting with such men. However, emotionally unstable, manipulative, crazy women love this type of guy. Why? They can take out all their craziness on him, and he’ll stick around! If all your exes were crazy, guess what? YOU’RE CRAZY TOO!
Why do some men crave the approval of women?
According to Dr. Robert A. Glover, author of “No More Mr. Nice Guy”, there are several cultural factors that contribute to what he calls the “nice guy phenomenon”. These are the top 2 for me:
- Absence of a strong male influence during childhood
- A female dominated educational system
Johnny never had a father, therefore, Johnny’s earliest interpersonal strategy was to find ways to please mom (woman). This strategy was further reinforced when Johnny got to school where the principle, vice principle, and majority of his teachers were female. In school, Johnny learned that the best way to succeed and get his needs met was to please the women around him. The other boys got in trouble for being too aggressive, too loud, defiant, and moving around too much –pretty much for being boys. Johnny on the other hand, earned LOTS of praise from his female teachers because he was able to sit still and play nice. As an adult, Johnny continues to sit still and play nice with the women around him. As a child this strategy worked, but as an adult, it makes him look weak and undesirable as a man.
How to be an attractive man
Many books and many blogs have been dedicated to this subject –each of the following items could be an entire book. However, this list will give the scope for what you need to do in order to stop breast feeding and become an attractive man. Ready?
- You can’t fake it. In the words of author Mark Manson (highly recommend his book) “The truth is always shining through.” So after reading this post, you could try imitating the mannerisms of a non-needy man, but in the end, you’ll find that it’s unsatisfying to pretend to be something that you’re not. If this post resonated with you, you have some hard, sometimes painful, but always rewarding work to do. You’ll be angry with yourself and the women in your life. You’ll be tempted to treat women like sh*t –the same way they treated you. Do the work though: become the man you were meant to be. Don’t pretend to be somebody you’re not.
- Develop your relationships with other men. There are certain things that you can only learn from other men. Also, even though society tells us otherwise, you can (and should) get just as much love, fun, and fulfillment from male relationships, as you do with female relationships. The majority of men who seek the approval of women have very few male friends. Here’s a secret: women are attracted to men with a lot of male friends. It let’s her know that other men respect you and that she’s got herself a winner! You’re welcome.
- Get strong. Strength is inextricably tied in with the male experience. Our capacity for developing strength is something that women simply do not possess to the same degree; therefore, being strong has and always will be part of being a man. It’s not a competition between you and other men to see who can lift more. It’s about you experiencing part of what it means to be a man. Your confidence, assertiveness, and attractiveness will skyrocket as you train your body. You’ll have more testosterone in your body and will take more risks. Also, chicks like a guy with muscles.
- Find your passion. Easier said than done. Still, you won’t have time to worry about the approval of women, if you’re busy enjoying your life. Part of the reason men seek validation from women is because they don’t have any worthwhile goals. If you need help finding your passion, here’s a good place to start: How to know your life purpose in 5 minutes.
What do ya’ll think about “breast feeders”? Is it true that women get annoyed when men try too hard to please them? Like! Comment! Share! Subscribe!
Auggie here, let’s chop it up. Let me know how you REALLY feel 🙂
WOW! That said a lot. It’s an interesting an interesting read, especially since my issue lately isn’t “too nice” men. It’s these misogynistic men.
It all comes from the same place: insecurity. The funny thing is, some nice guys eventually turn into misogynists.
The dude who couldn’t pull any girls when he was 22 is now 30 with a decent income. He can pull the 22 year olds who never wanted him because he’s considered an older guy and that’s attractive on some level. But, he can also pull women his age who are feeling the pressure of being single in their 30s.
A nice guy who’s suddenly able to date women who never gave him a chance before might treat women like sh!t, as a way to act out his resentment over a lifetime of rejection. Or he might not lol.
A man’s dating pool gets bigger as he gets older while a woman’s dating pool shrinks. Agree or disagree?
“A man’s dating pool gets bigger as he gets older while a woman’s dating pool shrinks.”
Nothing is limited, it is only limited in the human mind.
How safe is the internet?
Well lets face it nothing is safe out there and we most times are responsible for the insecurities. Hire a hacker today to help with your cybersecurity and hacking services; with services ranging from email hack to website database hack (this could help businesses get an audience from competitors website) to social account hack and mobile device surveillance. Do well to contact blackrazor(a)protonmailcom
These days I am leaning towards nice respectful guys. Nobody wants to be with an insecure push over or an overly aggressive misogynistic uncomprimising person.
Lol, “These days?”
So which type did you date in the past? Inquiring minds want to know, Nicole.
Well I came a long way Auggie. From the drug dealer types, to the broke non-drug dealer types with nothing going for them, to the engineers/doctors/lawyers/scientists types.
I am at the point in my life where I care more about the person’s character….how they treat others is a reflection of how they will treat me. Someone who is nice, gentle, respectful, trustworth/honest, secure…..
Hey Auggie! Whew, that’s a lot to take in. Insecure men do not equate to “nice guy” in my book. However, he usually is the “self proclaimed” nice guy, which is annoying as he!!. He tells you what you feel and think in a nice seductive tone right after giving compliment after compliment. This is subtle controlling behavior; condescending to any individual who is completely secure. This dude is so annoying!
I’m very direct. When these men tell me I look good, compliment my hair, shoes, clothes, etc…my reply is always, “I know”. I refuse to entertain BS and validate him in anyway.
Article is spot on, but in the end you have to have self confidence, if you know how to exude confidence without being an arrogant a-hole then picking up woman shouldn’t be too much of an issue.
If all your exes were crazy, guess what? YOU’RE CRAZY TOO!
Amen, Amen!! Time to look in the mirror & take responsibility for your choices & who u r. Like attracts like. You teach ppl how to treat u. When crazy comes, say bye & move on.
I’m finally learning this as a 36 year old separated woman. I’m practicing the strength of saying no to what I don’t want & letting my dealbreakers actually break the deal. Tjen, visualizing what I do want & believing I deserve it, have it while working towards making itba reality.
This makes no sense. Women think they need men to treat them like they are worthless in order to be attracted to them? And then women wonder why the man they date with leaves them heartbroken or feeling empty inside.
I am a very introvert man and always shy of talking to women after reading this article I feel a bit of confidence and will try not to repeat mistakes that I have been doing .
I appreciate this article as i am really trying to dig myself out of becoming an approval addict. I am looking everywhere on the web for way to get over my social anxiety and I found this article on https://datingarmory.com/how-to-attract-any-girl where it basically says I need to do some really intense social freedom exercises. Do you agree with this? I am getting fed up with all the massive amounts of confusion on the internet .