Home Dating & Relationships Dating Take Away: An Invaluable Lesson

Take Away: An Invaluable Lesson



There is no all-encompassing formula for relationships. The diversity of individuals in this world ensures no possible algorithm for success, so consider yourself fortunate if you get it right and find someone whose values and perspectives beat to the rhythm of your own life.

Truthfully speaking – my first relationship failed miserably. But on the upside of a diehard failed relationship is two beautiful children and the intricacies involved in maintaining that partnership with my children is what got me through the minute details of my daily life, from sunrise to sunset.

Having experienced a failed relationship forced me to take “timeout” in life to reflect and re-evaluate every variable that didn’t serve me or my relationship at that time. The journey itself is long and tiresome although very rewarding.

Over time you learn to heal as you begin to foster and accept all damages done through adjusting your mindset and clearing out any leftover remnants. Shortly after doing so, your heart fills your spiritual existence with a new lease on life and life becomes far more fulfilling.  

Any experience in life is good experience and this particular one taught me what I can and cannot handle as well as what I will and will not tolerate, and It’s this invaluable knowledge that has helped define and respect how far I’ll be able to go for the one I will love and the places I know I cannot venture to.

Through hindsight, the valuable lesson in all this’ – is that the most meaningful relationship, is the one you have with yourself. Even if that means’ you need to work on gratitude. You know…’Recognising where you’re at in life and who you are as a person’. After all – you are the only person you are around all of the time.

I’m a native of New Zealand, currently living in Australia attempting to recreate career objectives through freelance writing. Find me at push2empower.wordpress.com.


  1. This statement right here – “There is no all-encompassing formula for relationships. The diversity of individuals in this world ensures no possible algorithm for success.” 100% Truth. Another reality that many people fail to realize, is this: Many people who are married, or in a serious committed relationship have some serious problems and issues within that relationship, and/or have ended and got back together possibly once or a few times. So married people, and people in serious relationships have serious issues that you know nothing about. Not to mention, they could be miserable in their relationship and merely staying out of obligation, for the sake of kids, or because of comfort. For me, my biggest relationship that I am super focused on right now, is my relationship with God. Because without him I am nothing.

  2. A great perspective and read!

    Every relationship is not meant to work. Unfortunately, we typically realize that point a bit too late. There’s a plus to recognizing & self reflecting, and I feel that comes from accepting the blame more so than pointing the finger. We can only control ourselves, so there’s only room to work on self. I find it to be a waste of time focusing on the behavior of our partner or ex. Acceptance is key.


Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Get SBM Delivered

Get SBM Delivered

Single Black Male provides dating and relationship
advice for today's single looking for love

You have Successfully Subscribed!

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This